Easy way out~

Journey talk here: Am I taking the easy way out? I know there are some folks out there that probably think that having some sort of weight loss surgery is just an easy way out. Well folks, I believed for myself that that was in fact true, right up until the 3rd physician told me the very opposite yesterday. Ive been thinking for years.. maybe Ive just not worked hard enough, been diligent enough. After all, when I was young- up until I graduated high school I was in my healthy range.. and at times dipping below my recommended weight. I was young, I was active.. and had relatively no health issues what so ever.

Thennnn came the baby weight, weight I gained during a pregnancy that ended in miscarriage.. weight never came off. Then my pregnancy with Preston... after he was born my thyroid decided to go whack on me. I kept going higher and higher in weight despite my efforts to stay healthy. I tried every diet imaginable.. except for pills {I do not believe in them}, South Beach and Jenny Craig {$$$ and I ultimately found out buying food for a program is not going to be a life long change} Ive been to TOPPS, done Weight Watchers, Richard Simmons Deal a Meal, Adkins, counted calories/fat, exercised my butt off {or tried} hehe.. Ive done the grapefruit diet, diet shakes, diet meals, cabbage soup diet. I will admit Im not the best at keeping away from fast food joints, but I try really hard not to be real bad. Ive cut my portion sizes down. I dont snack. I may lose 10 to 25 pounds on any one of these diets, but the weight always came back and I always added an extra 10-15 pounds on top of it. And with each pregnancy and year that passed. {which is a lot of years, cuz Im old ya see! ha!} its always went up.. not down.

I have done what Ive been told by the doctor and still.. cannot lose weight. Apparently without this surgery Im not going to.. I have now been told by 3 different physicians that I never will without the surgery. I finally believe them. In fact my family physician will not even let me exercise because he is afraid of the damage I will do further to my knees. Now that's just plain crazy! But I can understand. Its hard carrying around another body on top of mine. Heck, my OB/GYN wont do a hysterectomy because of my weight. Its painful, Im miserable and I do wish I could do more, so that I wouldnt feel so guilty. Todd assures me day after day that I do not over eat. He assures me that he eats double/triple what I eat. I just cant shed it. I have absolutely no metabolism which sucks big time. Im sure with that and the hereditary factors I have going for me {my biological Dad was morbidly obese}...that I dont have much going for me at all.. LOL.

So after yesterdays lesson.. I learned one thing. This surgery.. if you think it is the easy way out.. attend a seminar. They will tell you clearly it is not. It is a lifetime commitment. Not a fun one. My mind is still reeling at the fact that I will never be able to eat a whole piece of anything. That I will have to chew my food to mere mush before I can swallow it. That if I do not follow the physicians orders implicitly I will be in severe pain and that there WILL be consequences, and some of those consequences are fatal. It is a reality that I have to prepare myself for, study for and commit myself to for life. So please if you for one second think that I do this as an easy way out. Follow me. I can guarantee its not going to be "the easy way". But I can also guarantee that I am going to follow and do as my physician says so that I do not have complications- so that I can succeed and that I can show the naysayers just whats up! ;)