Friday, September 24, 2010

Hey there Mr. Blue...

Justice and I at the Finn Inn back in February 2010.

Seriously.. how sweet is Justice in this picture??? I feel like I never post enough about Justice. He is the middle son, 10 years old.. he lives 2 1/2 hours away from me all the time. He is my most sensitive son and wears his heart on his sleeve 24/7. He is smart, emotional, loving and talkative. He also marches to the beat of his own little drum!

For some reason.. or many Justice is having some issues right now. I think for a while now anyway. He was raised and is raised by his father and has been with his father mostly until about 2 years ago when he got remarried. Not only did he take on a new step-mother but step-siblings as well. Its been a hard adjustment for him. He has never really "understood" the break up of his father and I. Two weeks ago he was talking to me and expressed once again how he wished that his Dad and I would still be married. He loves the idea of "family". And he wants us all to be together again. Its hard on him. He cant understand it fully.

Later this morning Justice will be seeing a Licensed Counselor to see if maybe he will let out some of his thoughts, talk things over... find alternatives to escaping..which is his survival code at the moment. Get some insight to things that his Dad and I cannot do. I hope that this is what he needs and that he gets the help he needs. I fear that I have not been such a good Mother and have been out of his life too much. I will never get over that fear ever Im afraid. I just hope to be better in the future. I want him to have the future he deserves, the now that he deserves. It kills me to see him so unhappy and sad. His teacher told us that he is having daily crying spells up to 10 times a day. This just isnt good. Something is eating at this lil boy. I pray and hope that you pray with me that he gets the answers or at least the understanding that he is lacking and that I cannot give him.

I love him so much... he is my shining star and I want him happy like every child should be!!!


Cat said...

Awww, poor kiddo. And poor Mama! I haven't experienced this, as my parents are still together, but I can imagine it would be a hard tranistion for anyone. Then to have a new step family as well. Maybe make him a comp book and tell him about journaling. I think I started when I was about 9 or so. It helped me. I didn't like it when other people would read it though. It was great to get my thoughts "out of my head" but not for my privacy to be compromised. I hope the counselor can help Justice. Big hugs to all of you.

Amie said...

Awww, bless his little heart! I'm glad you're getting him some help. You should do several nice posts about him and make sure he sees them, like Top 10 Things I Love About Justice, or maybe something special for his birthday, a list of his likes/dislikes, something to show you still think about him. What a sweet little guy. (That reminds me, I took pics last week of that kid from Ethan's class...I need to figure out how to send them to my email so I can get them to you. lol)

Cheryl said...

What a heart-felt post, Angi. Sending you lots and lots of cyber hugs. I miss you and it's always so wonderful when you visit my blog! Hang in there!!