Saturday, March 10, 2007

When they die~

Ok... Ive asked my scrappin' sisters to help me out with a question that is burning inside my heart and mind lately. Ive had a hard year with the death of my Grandma and think constantly and wonder what its like for her now. I have always thought that when you die... your body stays in the ground or floating if cremated.. and that your spirit {I picture the whole body} as going to Heaven/Hell.. I think or want to think that Heaven is just this magnicent place where everything is in color, there is no black and white and that everyone is very happy and at peace. There is no traffic, no keeping up with the jones', no money, no nothing but one huge palace and garden... I see God and the angels floating around everyone that I know who has passed.... but then here comes the hard part for me... Are the folks that I have lost, still suffering?, like for example.. My Grandma died of Alzheimers... does she still have that??? or is she auto-matically healed?... What about her meeting Grandpas first wife??? Do they fight? I just wonder all these crazy things. I want to know or would like to know that she is in heaven doing and feeling good.... not in the same shape as when she died. I dont know why I feel the need to know? Maybe its because I now have another Grandma dying of demtia and its just so hard to see them in this state of mind. I want to remember her as she used to be when we were so very close.
As far as me dying... I just hope that when I do die that I have my stuff together, I want to have written my thoughts down for my boys and to know that things are just *done*.. I dont want anything fancy.. just some pictures and me in a box... heck someone could scrap it and Id be delighted hehee... I have certain songs I want played and I want my children to know theyve been loved beyond the sky and moon. I want Todd to know that I love him more than all eternity as well.. and that Im going to be ok... that everything is going to be OK. Thats it... simple.


Florida Girl said...

I like the vision of a Garden Of Peace...that sounds Heavenly. Thanks for sharing this with us, I hope you find some resolve to your questions. HUGS

beckster said...

this is sad to me angi. my grandma is my best friend, and i know ill be thinking what you are when shes not here to comfort me anymore. im just happy that you and i both know not to take the time we have with them for granted. whether or not i beleive that there is a heaven, i know that my grandma does, and she knows thats where she is headed, and that gives me a sort of peace. i dont think for one minute that your kids or todd would ever have a doubt in their minds as to the extent of love that you hold for them in your heart. just live your life to the fullest, and try not to dwell on things that you will never know and that you definately cannot change. im sure your grandmother is looking down on you with the proudest feelings, knowing that you cared for her as much as you did and still do. i love you!!!!

Florida Girl said...

Becky you said something that I think is KEY to this ...."whether or not i beleive that there is a heaven, i know that my grandma does, and she knows thats where she is headed, and that gives me a sort of peace." I think that is why I choose to believe in Heaven - it gives me peace.