Do you ever~

...get the feeling that someone is waiting for you to say something profound? I get that feeling, if not something profound something of importance to them. Well hell.. I have that feeling and Im sorry to say that I just have nothing to say..nothing to argue, nothing to sing about ... just nothing. Do you think this is an effect from Prozac? Possibly ... possibly it could be that Ive grown stronger than I ever thought possible and I just dont let things bother me as they used to.
Recently my Grandma passed away... she and I were so very close... but the past two years she has been without mind. Of course I was saddened by this and cried every night that she lay there in that hospital bed... finally after a prayer of asking her to let go... she went. Since then, Ive had no emotion. Nothing. No tears, no worries, no more love than usual, no more nothing. Im just *being*... I dont know if thats a good thing or not. I dont want to be un-emotional.. but dont want to be over-emotional either. Did I mention that since the emotion is gone the analyzing has increased... hahaa
Onto another subject...Relationships~
I dont know people... I try hard to be fair, to give the benefit of the doubt. I welcome new people with open arms. I try to protect them, listen and be there for them. Sometimes it works out and sometimes not, as does any relationship. I cannot, however, take the non-working relationship failures onto my shoulders and let them bring me down. I have to just learn from them and be weary of the next relationship that forms. It just wouldnt be fair to the people in my life that mean the world to me... my sons and my husband if I let my strong side wither to pieces from a toxic relationship.. especially one that was with a person that Ive never met in real life. To me its just not worth the aggravation if I am the only one working to resolve issues within the relationship... is it for anyone? We all go our separate ways at times and I can respect that. At least I have the courtesy to say goodbye and thank you for allowing me to know you even though it didnt work.
What would the world be like if we could all do that???.......... yeah... peace out~

New layouts and altered projects to follow...

You know you're a scrapbooker when...~

So.. we've been doing some home improvements lately and currently our shower in the master bedroom is out of order. We are now going to the main bath to take showers. While showering this morning, washing my hair... lalalaaaa.... I look up and see the decorative nails that are holding the ceiling up... and think wow, they look just like prima flowers!!!! My thoughts then turned to ... I wonder what it would look like if I put bling in the centers of them..... laffin I had to giggle and say to myself... yup you are a gonner... you are hooked.. a mess... a true scrapbooker!!!

In other news....
Two more days and Becky, Cat and Sunshine will be down to shop, scrap and enjoy the CKC Convention... Im sooo damn excited. Im off the next two days to get prepared and primp.. Yay for girlfriends and yay for scrapbooking that brought us together. Woot Woot!!!

Why O Why?~

Why o why do I post blogs you ask? Well.. I started out blogging thinking, well this would be a good way to release some of the creative thoughts swirling around in my head. I love to write and for the most part think its good for us.. no matter who we are. On a deeper level, blogging is like journaling in a diary to me... I try to stay away from the too personal stuff, but in different spots it still comes out. I know that Ive come a long way in my journaling as two years ago it was dark and depressing.. and I guess that probably means Ive evolved over time. As with my scrapbooking Ive took to the notion that blogging is also something that after I pass, my family can look at and read and hopefully understand my thought process. Feelings on different subjects, like self, people, the Earth, friends and family. Hopefully they will understand that Im just striving to be the best I can be, and sometimes even though its rough.. getting through lifes obstacles and bumps just fine....Be it with their help, or not.. or my writing. Its just good therapy!!!

Happy Easter!!!~

That went by fast... the time between St. Pats and Easter! It has been a whirlwind. Ive felt so overwhelmed with things in general... home projects, work, cleaning, self-preservation... the boys, the upcoming events. Tonight I went and got my nails done and it took a good 2 hours, almost 3.. I just sat there like a zombie. No expression, No thoughts... just in my happy place I guess. Ive been trying to get over a nasty ear infection and boy is that going slow. I still feel pretty yucko from that. Then top that off with another injection in my knee... which hurts like HELL! Hopefully with the springy weather I can pull out of this funk and get my groove on again. :) I got a lot to do and take care of thats for sure!!! Like tomorrow... Easter... what are ya'll doin? Im going with the family over to my sister-in-laws {Melly} and the rest of the family is coming for dinner. We are smoking a turkey and Im making a new cold *baked potato salad*. Im looking forward to it... which is good because earlier this week with all the stress I just wanted to be alone.... bruding I guess. hahaa. Last night I was searching for some cute bunny pics for the forum and came across two of my FAVORITE books as a child. I was sooo delighted!!! I have to say if you have children and you come across these books, buy them!!! Your children will absolutely love them. I have them on order and looking yet for another book I had when I was little, but cannot remember the title at all. Having trouble finding that one. So the search is still on! Anyway, the books are above in the photos... Have a wonderful Easter everyone! ;)

St.Pattys in the StL~

Omygoshhhhh... Ive always wanted to be a part of the St.Patricks Day Parade downtown St.Louis... and finally this year got to go. I thank the good Lord that the weather held out and we had an awesome day for it!!! I think next year we are going to make this an adult* thing.. there were some rather un/kid-friendly folks around us... so much so that I thought I was going to have to punch about 7 girls... but alas we made it through and we all had a great time. I asked the boys their favorite parts... Justice says the beads and the Irish Dancers... Hunter said the Shriners in their little cars... For me it was all the whacky outfits, sea of green, the shamrocks painted on the streets, the bag pipes, roller girls... and the lawn chair brigade.. hahaa. Lots of fun. And really we timed it perfect and found a great spot for parking! Cant wait til next year!!! ;)
Here is a slide show of the day!

Not a Baby~

Not anymore....and I cried... cried like a lil baby.. hahaaa
Hunter finally sat and got his hair cut like a big boy yesterday. He didnt even have to hold my hand. We were praising him and praising him and all the sudden I teared up. I hate when they start growing up.. it just goes so fast and furious.. and I want it to stop so I can enjoy the moments. arghhh. But alas Im happy and he is happy. This morning he told me he looked just like a redneck. laffin. His Daddy got his hair cut too.. real short.. I just LOVE it.. he is soo sexy with it short like that. Reminds me of when we got married. I do love his hair, and he is so particular and vein about it. Its sooo flipping soft! ahhhhh ... I feel my mojo coming back... woot woot! ;)

In other news... Im getting pretty excited about the girls coming down from MN for CKC in April. Im a bit nervous in trying to figure out what to do to keep entertainment rolling.. but hey we'll figure out something, just us together will be hilarious Im sure. I have so many home improvement projects too that Id like to get done before I have company, but it keeps snowing and fouling up my/our plans... grrr haha It will come and if it doesnt oh well, we will be on the run most of the time Im sure.

Other news... My Mom and her Hubby are on their way back home from their wintering* in Arizona.. I cant wait to see the jillion pics they took. They sounded like they had a wonderful time. Im not sure when we will get down there or them here. Maybe sometime in May... Preston graduates on the 16th and Id like to have a lil party for him after we come back home. We'll see though... thats a way off. In the meantime I have to think of a gift... so if you have any suggestions or ideas.. please o please let me know... its so tough!!!

Im off Friday.. woot woot. Maybe we'll see a movie... what a marvel idea!!! Any suggestions there??? hehee.. Have a good week people! ;)

*The Change* ~ {possibly TMI}

Whats the deal??? Why is it that Im 40 but feel...oh say...90?? I could list a list of ailments that have struck this week and this isnt even hitting on what is REALLY going on. Im in so much pain all over my body I just dont know what to do. From my ear to my thighs..oh wait yeah my calves hurt too... Lucky for me the feet and toes are still going strong. I wish I knew what the underlying problem was... is it the weight??? and why now??? Ive been heavy all my adult life.. is it just now catching up? And what about mentally?.. I thought I was doing good....now I find that Im moody and depressed, yet at the turn of a dime.. Im feeling giddy and happy and optimistic. Is this the change??? Is this what its like? I dont know, but if you would... say a prayer for me, I know its selfish of me to ask... but seriously.. Im TOO young to feel this damn old!!! Thank you!

Good thing Spring is on the way... I think of and look forward to many of the wonderful pleasures it brings. :)

Let them eat cake!!!~

I just love the sayings surrounding cake... my favorite... wait.. I'll leave that for last. haha

Thought Id share a layout of my nieces daughter Jadyn from Thanksgiving. I did this for a pastels Spring is in the Air Challenge that Cristal posted over at 8up. I dont know why, but I always find it so difficult to work with not only pastels, but multiple pictures too. But I didnt think this turned out too bad. This past weekend, Hunter and I baked a cake. Id been craving an Oatmeal cake.. its a heavy cake, one that my Mom used to make... I guess its most like a spice cake. The icing is like that you use on top of a German Chocolate. Hunter is so cute... he always wants to sit on the counter and break eggs or add spices. It helps with his counting. His most important lesson this weekend though was not to add hot liquid {melted butter} on top of the raw eggs. He was like *oh Mommy.. yucky scrambled eggs in our cake.. yuck*!!! Great together time... makes me feel...
*Happier than a fat kid eating cake*.... and there ya have it. Enjoy the week!

He's a rocker!!!~

Now, when Aunt Melly got this guitar for Hunters 2nd birthday we were all like OH NO!!!-More noise??? Seriously though this kid finally a year later totally LOVES his guitar and often will come out of his room strumming the guitar on the couch but usually he wants to ROCK. Like last night when we were watching American Idol. He ran to his room came out with his guitar and was really watching the TV and rocking to The Doors tune Light My Fire! I got the camera quick because I wanted to catch him really into it. About the time I was ready to take the shot he spun around and this is the photo I captured. I just love him... These will be the good memories of a rockin', ever moody 3 year old. hehee :)

Happy Valentines Day!!!

I hope that all of your sweet dreams come true. I thought Id share some of the treat bags that I made up for Hunters sitter/and the kids she watches. I made some for the girls at work too. I got this Daisy D's kit from the Nook and fixed them up with some Kisses and M&M's. I hope they like them. Here I am also showing off the homemade cards that Hunter and & I made his Daddy and the one that his Daddy made for me and Hunter. They turned out real cute. The first is Hunters to his Daddy, it says inside *I love you more than the sky.. I think you are the *cats meow*... hahaa and then Todds card is self explanatory with a twist on going 3-D. I was so proud of him.. he was in my scraproom, I was scared for a bit. LOL We cut it real close because I got LOST in Hobby Lobby tonight, boy they sure are having some sales this week!!! I could have spent hundreds if I'd had it! Have a great week... and a better weekend... Happy Valentines Day from me to you. ;o)

Some cute stuff and a did you know?~

A chick from the 8up forum posted this lil diddy... I couldnt help but identify with 99.9% of the following: ;)

You might be a scrapbooker if ...

10. Your baby's first word is "Cheese".

9. You've ever staged a photograph just so you can use that cute new embellishment you just got.

8. You see your family more through the pictures you scrap than in real life.

7. You've never sewn a piece of clothing in your life, but you buy a mini sewing machine just to sew on your scrapbook pages.

6. You're disappointed when you get gift certificates to your favorite clothing store instead of the scrapbook store.

5. You buy your child a new outfit just to match the new patterned paper you just bought.

4. Your family can't find a place to eat because the table is full of scrapbooking supplies.

3. Your 4-year-old knows the difference between a brad and an eyelet.

2. You evaluate how good a family outing is by the number of scrapbook pages you can create from it.

1. Your husband asks you in the morning "Who is Bazzill? You were talking in your sleep last night ... Is it another man?"

Ok, now to the did you know part... did you know that you could make baked potatoes in the crock pot?? What a genius idea!!!
Go HERE to learn more about how to do it. Also other kinda neat recipes for the crockpot. Let me know if you try anything.. I havent yet, but plan to soon. :)

A quickie~

Just a quick check in. Not really a bunch new stuff going on. Ive managed to do a 2 page layout for a photo swap and a Valentines card for my Mom and her husband that are traveling right now heading for Arizona to settle for the winter. I think, although Im not sure, but thinking that my card helped win me a super prize from the Nook!!! I'll fill you in later on that. It could have been a different one I submitted, but Im seriously not sure, it could have just been luck of the draw you know. haha. Anyway, Im pretty happy about it. I didnt even think there was a prize for it, but Leah says..oh yes, feel like a winner. haha ok, thank you I will. Lets see... all of us have had the FLU... goodeness it was horrible. I know there are tons others out there fighting it... if you are.. get well. My method of success was or at least Im thinking.. was taking Deep Congestion Comtrex with a mix of Sudafed too. I just hope we dont pass it on to one another constantly. That would be NO fun. Sooo Im off to work on 2 projects..an About Me challenge and some altered index for the girls at 8up. Should be quite the project, I need to make 15. I also printed out about 4 nice pics to do layouts with.. cant wait... so be on the lookout!!! ;)

Wow, I kept you in suspence for a while huh?~

hahaa... does anyone read this anyway?? For real. hahaa
Well this is the change. Me! I got my hair cut and styled and colored about a week and half ago. 12 inches gone!!! ... I started at 6, then said ok 3 more... then after the dying and highlighting and 4 hours later and upon my sister in laws urging... took 3 more off. hahaa ;) I really like the cut, although wish it were a bit shorter... I was chicken though.. a BIG chicken. So scared Todd would hate it. But good news is... he LOVES it!!! :) The color, I dont like as much. Supposedly its my natural or closest to it and added foiled highlights. Ive gotten used to it now.
Im starting to feel my age. Yeah-Pre-Menopausal. Ive been labeled. The good news is, Im doing pretty good health wise... just hormonal, which apparently normal with *pre-menopausal* women... LMAO. I think its just me. Moody as all get out. But hopefully that will pass soon!
In other happy news.. I won $500 YAY!!! Our bank was doing a drawing that involved all the folks that had used their debit cards as credit during the holidays and they picked me. Woot Woot. I have spent $200 of it already in bills and taking the family to dinner and a movie. The other $300 Im going to hoard. And save. You never know what I may need. or want. Either way, its in a safe spot, just waiting to be used. but I will not give into temptation. hehee
I guess thats it other than the boys turning 8-Justice and 3-Hunter. Here they are with their big brother Preston after a day at Chuck E. Cheeses! They had a huge party there, which was FUN, then they came home to brand new bikes.. bikes that look like MOTORCYCLES.. they LOVED them!!! Id say it was a great birthday for them despite the fact that it was so close to Christmas.
And Im scrapbooking again!! woot woot. Here is one of my favs recently! My niece Mariah posted this pic on her MySpace and allowed me to swipe it to scrap... I just love it, it speaks to me... inspired me.
Happy Birthday Mariah, today is her 17th birthday... woot woot.. Love you girl!!! ;)

Cha...cha ...channgeesss~

Changes are coming soon... Changes meaning...me... Keep on the lookout for pictures!

Happy 2008~

Wow, I cannot believe that its already the 5th. Heck it will be the 6th in about 30 minutes. Already Im behind in some of the things I wanted to accomplish in 2008. Why is it the older you get the faster the time goes??? hahaa That is something I will just never ever understand. Anywho.. Lets see. Whats been going on with me. Well... lots of work, work work work. Its been a stressful time there lately and it seems my work is never done. Im hoping that soon it will calm so that I can actually get some scrapping done... hahahaa ... naw really I just would like everything to be smooth. But sincerely, I wonder if it ever is with anything with anyone. Ahh well. Everything is going good on the homefront. Next weekend we are throwing a birthday party for the 2 younger boys. Justice will be 8 and Hunter will be 3. I cant believe again how fast time flies. Soon Preston will be 19.. YES.. sad hahaa. I think we are going to hang out at Chuck E. Cheeses for games and then come home and have pizza and cake with the family. Easy peasy is what Im hoping for. We are getting them brand new matching bikes, the ones that look like dirt bikes/motorcycles.. oh yeah they are going to FLIP! I cant wait. I hope Preston can make it up as well. Then next on the agenda is seeing my Momma... she is coming up with her husband on the 14th. Im planning on taking that day off and fixing a HUGE turkey dinner with all the fixins. I also have a yearly pap/female checkup. Terrible me hasnt done that since Hunter was born... yes THREE years ago. Im anxious to just go ahead and get it over with. I need the day to myself too. I cant wait. I may also go and have my hair professionally dyed/frosted. We will see. Well, I need to hit the hay so that I can get an extra wink or two before the lil one is up. Happy New Year everyone... I hope to be reading more and more blogs this year and hope that a few new folks pop in here every now and again... and my old friends come by and visit too. I'll leave you with a pic of the boys and I a couple days after Christmas. I thought it turned out decent despite my funky hair... hahaa. ~

Merry, Merry~

To all of my family and friends... and anyone who is just passing by this blog... Have a wonderful Christmas and a beautiful New 2008. Ive been blessed for sure... and pray for blessings to all of you as well...

Let is Snow~

This is our place about 10pm tonight.. Im sooo happy!!! This morning we awoke to about 2 inches of snow and then it layed off until about 4pm... then it started in snowing again. Its beautiful!!! This afternoon after we returned from getting groceries, Hunter, Justice, Todd, my neice and brother in law and I all went sledding in the back yard... we have a pretty good size hill. It was hilarious! Hunter was so excited, it was his first time... He just kept saying... That was fun! Lets do it again!!... I even made the trek up the hill TWICE and down TWICE hahaa.. on my BUTT... hahahaa it was better that way believe me... I felt way more in control! I think I got snow burn though hahahaa... My buns hurt something fierce tonight. hahaaa I havent sledded since I was 8 I think. Todd said it was really nice to see me having fun. I needed that too. Oh yeah he went down a couple times.. all Jim-my brother in law saw was lots of crack.. my poor hubby hahaa. Anyway... cheers to snow! Im loving it! ;)

Jadyn the Princess~

This is a recent out of the box type layout I did as a contest challenge for Crazy 8's. The challenge to use a round page map from Page/Maps. It also had to be either girlie or boyish. So what better lil girlie subject that my neices lil girl Jadyn. She was up the day after Thanksgiving and gave me tons of great lil poses as I snapped away. She sure is a natural dont ya think? hehee. I was also shocked that I actually figured out how to alter the photo in PSP to look pink and white rather than black and white.{Cant remember now of course haha} but anyway, I thought it just looked cute. It was also the first time Id ever used ghost letters by Heidi Swapp..{Again, I know Im terribly behind times!}...and what lil chicky doesnt need tiaras on the layout? hehee.. I love it... but wouldnt ya know I havent gotten ONE vote. LMAO.. ahhh well, it just goes to prove that everyone has different styles and notions and that ultimately we are scrapping for ourselves right?

Warm Apple Pie~

Believe it or not, Im not a fan of apple pie. Not sure what it is about an apple pie, but its just not my cup of tea.... or wasnt until I found this recipe and now this is an apple pie I can eat!!! I made one today for my sweetie.. My first in a LONG LONG time...


Let me know if youd like the recipe.. I assure you it truely IS... simple as pie!

Mmmmm Warm Apple Pie~

Believe it or not, Im not a fan of apple pie. Not sure what it is about an apple pie, but its just not my cup of tea.... or wasnt until I found this recipe and now this is an apple pie I can eat!!! I made one today for my sweetie.. My first in a LONG LONG time...